Give You Life
by LadyWillow
Summary: It was an oath, Moony. You can’t go back on an oath." Slash, SB/RL Read & Review, please!
1. Chapter One

Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any thing affiliated with Harry Potter. That honor goes to the lovely J.K. Rowling. She's a genius! Please don't sue me. I'm dirt poor, as all us artists are.  
  
Content Disclaimer: Okay, this story is slash. Which means m/m pairing, which means that the two main characters, being Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, are homosexual, and engage in a loving relationship. However, this story is shounen-ai, meaning it's just romance and such. I don't write sex. Sorry! But it's still cute, and I may imply sex, I just don't write the scene for you. We all have imaginations, so you can exercise yours and imagine the snogging yourself. ^_^  
  
Dedications: For the Hogwarts Past RPG' that I'm a member in (I'm Remus Lupin!), because through this RPG I've leaned so much more about Remus and Sirius, and become so much more comfortable with their characters, that I'm sure it's helped this fic become something truely to be proud of.  
And if anyone is interested in the RPG, email me and I'll give you the URL.  
  
Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius, James/Lily (kind of, well, they're together but that's about it.)  
  
  
With all that said, on to the fic!  
  
  
**   
Give You Life  
** By: LadyWillow  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was a time of great joy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The term had long since started, the leaves had fallen, crisp and gold, to the ground in the great forest, and snow had taken their place. It was the fifteenth of December, and all through Hogwarts, holiday spirit was mounting.  
  
For one student though, it seemed that holiday cheer had forgotten him. He sat, melancholy and alone, looking out the great expanse of windows in the Gryffindor common room, watching the snowflakes fall lazily to the ground, where they mingled with the millions of other ones. Yet, no two were alike.  
  
Remus Lupin knew that he should be happy. He had good friends, he was at a good school, and was getting all around good marks. Yet, Remus felt as if something great were missing. And he knew just what that something was.  
  
  
  
Oy there, Moony! Stop your brooding and lets get down to supper, before Prongs eats all the good stuff!   
  
  
Sirius Black. Remus' best friend. The boy was tall, standing at 5'10, with straggly black hair, and light gray, warm eyes. The two boys had been inseparable for the longest time. Remus was sure that Sirius knew how important he was to Remus. And yet...  
  
  
Remus had loved Sirius. He had loved him for, well, it seemed forever. Ever since he laid eyes on the boy for sure.   
  
But of course, Remus knew when to give up, and he had done so long ago. Sirius would never love him. Not as anything more than a dear, best friend. And Remus was sort of okay with that. He was okay with knowing that he would forever live in longing for Sirius. As long as he still had Sirius' friendship, he would be okay.  
  
  
  
Okay Padfoot. Let's go.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
They sat together, Sirius and Remus, in the Great Hall. James and Peter sat across from them, and Lily Evans sat on James' right.   
  
What's been keeping you so quiet, Moony? James asked, as he lifted his fork to his mouth.  
  
Nothing really. Homework's just dragging me down, I suppose. Remus said, as he buttered the bun on his plate.   
  
Sirius looked sideways at Remus. He could see through his best friend's facade with ease. Yet, he decided not to press the subject right now. Remus was still obviously lost in his thoughts.  
  
So, I was thinking about going out to the grounds after supper. Maybe find Snivellous, see what we can shake up with him... James left the statement hanging, and Lily shot him a dirty look. What is your problem, Evans?  
  
Why don't you leave him alone, James. Honestly!  
  
Oh, here she goes, jumping to defend her _dear Snivellus!_  
  
Leave me alone, James. You know better.  
  
  
Remus sighed heavily, and stood up.   
  
  
Oy Moony, where are you going? James asked, looking surprised. You've only just sat down!  
  
Yes, well I'm finished eating now. I think I'm going to go sit outside. Get some air. Clear my mind. Remus walked with his bag out the door, and moved swiftly out the big castle doors, and under his favorite tree by the lake, which was now frozen-over.   
  
Much better. He slid down the trunk of the tree, and looked out at the lake. The wind off of the frozen water whipped at his hair, and wisps of it came out of the ponytail he had so carefully placed earlier that morning. There was a slight bite to the air, and Remus felt a sudden chill.  
  
  
  
  
  
Remus turned to see Sirius walking up, concern quite evident on his face.  
  
Oy, Padfoot. Remus called.   
  
::I couldn't sit in there with him so close, his eyes looking at me. Reading me. And now he's out here. With me. I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands off of him.:: Remus thought in dismay.  
  
Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you, Moony. Sirius said, tilting his head in an oh-so-cute fashion.  
  
Nothing, Sirius. I've already said. Homework is just dragging me down. That's all.  
  
Sirius mock-glared at Remus.  
  
Remus, you survive just fine with all the homework during exam time. That's not what it is. There's something bothering you.  
  
Remus was silent, looking out over the lake, refusing to meet the intoxicating eyes.  
  
Have you heard from your family? Is that it? Sirius asked quietly, knowing his best friend didn't like to talk much about his parents and siblings.  
  
No, Sirius. That's not it.  
  
The ebony-haired man grinned, and raised a finger.  
  
Ah ha, so there _is _something bothering you! He exclaimed, triumph brightening his face.  
  
  
::So beautiful...:: Remus thought, swallowing hard to resist the urge to pounce upon his most dear and treasured friend.  
  
Even if there is something bothering me, Padfoot, I can't tell you about it.  
  
Sirius looked wounded. His face fell, and he reached out gently and put his hand on Remus' shoulder.  
  
What? You can't tell me something? I thought we made a promise to each other. All us Marauders, that we would never keep anything from each other. That we could trust each other with anything. Everything? It was an **oath, **Moony. You can't go back on an oath. He said, his eyes staring intently into Remus'. Their faces were scant inches apart.  
  
  
Slowly, Remus began to move forward, and it seemed that Sirius had too, and then...  
  
  
Sirius Black! Remus Lupin! Get inside this school right now! Classes are about to start, and I will not tolerate another tardy from either of you! Professor McGonagall called from the front door. You've lost Gryffindor enough House Points as it is! And with that, she turned and walked back into the school.  
  
The moment ruined, Remus and Sirius stood, and walked back inside.  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
That's all for now. Please make my day, and review! *points*   
Check back in a day or so for chapter two. Thanks for reading, everyone! Let me know what you like/don't like, and what you'd like to see next, okay?


	2. Chapter Two

  
  
Hey Moony, Padfoot. Have you two saw Prongs about?   
  
Remus and Sirius had come back to the common room after their last class of the day, Care of Magical Creatures, to find Peter sitting alone, a book in his lap.  
  
No, haven't saw him. Sirius said, snickering. He's probably out and about with that Lily Evans he's so obsessed with.  
  
Peter laughed. Well Padfoot, he's entitled to be obsessed about his girlfriend. Like you'd know what one of those was. Peter laughed, and Remus tried to feign a smile or anything to show that he appreciated the joke.   
  
It was true. Sirius; although he had many girls who would die to, did not have a girl friend. In fact, he barely humored the girls that clamored for his attention. Remus had of course noticed this, but he paid it no mind. Sirius wasn't exactly one to like attention being laved on him. Ever. So in Remus' mind, it made perfect sense.  
  
  
Sirius glared at Peter, and chortled. Well Peter, you don't really know much about girlfriends either, I do believe. And for that matter, neither do you, Moony. Sirius looked thoughtful. Why is that? You're good looking enough. He said, and upon realizing how that must have sounded, he flushed slightly.  
  
  
::Oh, how I've longed to hear those words fall from your lips in a different context, Padfoot.::   
  
Remus, in good graces, flushed a bit himself, before changing the subject.  
  
So Peter, have you started that paper for Charms yet? He asked, getting into his element. Homework.  
  
No, I um..I was just waiting for you to get here to start. Didn't want you to miss out on any of the fun, Moony. He said, a smirk on his face.  
  
Oh, I'll bet, Wormtail. You just want a chance to peep a bit at my paper. It's nothing to be ashamed over. Hell, I basically do his homework. Remus said, nodding his head toward Sirius, who was seated by the fire place in a large, overstuffed red arm chair.  
  
Speaking of which, dear Moony. How do you feel about intellectually enlightening' me a bit with your notes from Transfiguration? I was a bit busy at the time that she gave them...  
  
Remus snorted. A bit busy sleeping, Sirius. He said with disdain.  
  
Yes well, I'm a growing boy. I need my rest. Sirius stated, indignant.  
  
Remus and Peter laughed at that, and Remus pulled out his Transfigurations notes, and his Charms assignment.   
  
Here Sirius, you git. Come over here and copy these down. You're lucky she didn't give an assignment while you were off dreaming of magic ponies and happy rainbows!  
  
Lucky how? You'd still be here, dear friend of mine, to help me along'. Sirius said, grinning fully. Remus knew he was right. He would never be able to deny Sirius anything, not anything.  
  
  
Yes well, just copy those down.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
So, Lily and I had a good time earlier.   
  
It was late at night, and the marauders were getting ready to head up to the dormitories for a good nights sleep.  
  
Do we want to know, Prongs? Peter asked as he put his quills and parchment away carefully.  
  
I'm sure you do, Wormtail. It's the closest you'll get to it, I'll wager.  
  
Sirius snickered, and put his own freshly-done work in his bag.  
  
So, we walked around the grounds, and we ended up by the Quidditch pitch. We started talking a bit about Quidditch, and somehow that conversation turned into how I have nice muscles, -  
  
Oh, I bet you went on and on about them for hours. Told her all about how you flex in front of any mirror you can get your hands on, just to make sure they're still there. Remus said, a lopsided grin on his face, as he mimicked James' frantic flexing.  
  
Oh, be quiet you. Anyway, all of a sudden she's all over me! It was bloody fantastic, I didn't even initiate it this time!  
  
Suppose you didn't feel as much like you were raping her then? Sirius said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Suddenly a pillow hit his face.  
  
  
  
Serves you right, Padfoot. You should say stuff like that. James said, feigning indignation.  
  
Sirius laughed, and began to walk toward the dormitories. I'm going to sleep. Long day tomorrow. And I think Moony'll bean me if I fall asleep in any classes tomorrow, so I'd better get plenty of beauty sleep! And with that he whisked up the stairs and into the dorm.  
  
  
James shook his head. Moony, Wormtail, we have got the strangest friend in the entire wizarding world, I believe.  
  
Remus just chuckled, and followed after the tall, dark man who owned his heart.  
  
  
::I'm yours, Sirius. Even if you don't see it.::  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
Yup, more coming soon. *points* Please review and tell me what you thought! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter Three

Early the next morning, Remus woke and drew the curtains around his bed back, to see that the sun had barely come up.  
  
::I've woke quite early...:: He thought to himself, surprised. Then, he got an idea. Before he could stop himself, he stumbled out of bed, and over to where Sirius slept.  
  
::Sweet angel. Sweet, beautiful angel...:: Remus thought as he walked toward the bed, which had the great curtains drawn firmly around it.  
  
Very slowly, Remus reached out his hand and drew back the curtain closest to him just a bit. He then peeked in.  
  
  
There was Sirius Black, object of Remus' affections, of his love, laying peacefully in his bed, fast asleep.  
  
Remus drew the curtains back a bit more, and looked at Sirius' length. The blankets were twisted around his legs, and his bare chest was rising and lowering slowly, in a very light way.  
  
::He's fast asleep.:: Remus thought, a smile on his lips. ::So beautiful...::  
  
  
Sirius' dark hair was spread across the pillow, strands were over his face, and Remus reached a quivering hand out to brush the hair from the beautiful features.  
  
I love you, Sirius Black. He whispered.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Moony, what are you doing?  
  
  
  
**_  
Caught.  
  
  
  
_**  
  
Remus turned quickly, and saw James looking at him, with a curious expression on his face.  
  
Oh! I... and.... His face flushed, and he quickly closed the curtains on Sirius' bed, and walked away a few steps.  
  
  
  
How long? James asked.  
  
What are you talking about? Remus asked, looking at his bedcovers, then at the night stand next to his bed, a lamp, clock, and picture of all four marauders laughing evilly sat there, along with quite a bit of dust.  
  
  
Look at me, Remus.  
  
Remus' head snapped up. James almost always called him Moony. He rarely used his real name, and he knew James was serious if he was calling him by his true name.  
  
  
How long have you loved him?  
  
  
Remus' eyes widened.  
  
You heard me..?  
  
James laughed at that. Moony, it's as plain as day. I didn't hear anything. James quite frankly didn't even want to _know _what Remus was referring to. That was far too much information, even for him.  
  
  
Answer me, Moony. James demanded, his eyes soft.  
  
  
For as long as I can remember. Remus replied, his voice soft, eyes on the ground.  
  
James sighed, and walked closer to his friend.  
  
Why don't you just tell him, mate?  
  
Remus looked at James, incredulous.  
  
What? Tell him? He'd be completely disgusted! He'd hate me forever! I can't loose him! I'd rather have his friendship sound, then risk it all for .... more.  
  
  
James gave Remus a look that clearly said you idiot', and sighed heavily.  
  
Moony, look. If you can be satisfied with just his friendship, then fine. But are you sure that's what _he _wants?  
  
Remus' eyes closed, and he took a few deep breaths, before opening them again.  
  
I don't know what he wants. And I'm afraid to ask.  
  
  
***  
  
  
That's all you get. More in a few days, everyone! See the lil button down there? *points* Click it and review! *begs* Getting reviews makes me smile, and therefore motivates me to write more, so go ahead and get me cookin'!


	4. Chapter Four

The Great Hall was filled with bustling, clamoring students, all eating their breakfast and talking excitedly about a multitude of different things. The owls came in with the mail, and Remus looked up as an owl swooped down, landing with a soft whoosh' in front of his oatmeal bowl, his Daily Prophet tied to its foot.  
  
Remus took the paper, put a bit of gold in the pouch, and the great bird swooped away.  
  
Say Moony, think I could take a look at your Charms paper, mate? Sirius asked, giving Remus his puppy dog face. Remus rolled his eyes, and handed the parchment to his friend over the mounds of food spread across the table.  
  
You know, Padfoot, perhaps instead of spending all your free time hexing Snivellus and find new hexes with which to hex Snivellus, you should try for some studying. Remus said, smirking at the grinning fellow in front of him.  
  
What, and take your job, Moony? I think not. You do the studying, I do the hexing, and we both pass. He said with a silly grin and a cheerful laugh.  
  
Ugh, Padfoot, kindly stop your cheery demeanor until at _least _ noon. James said, his head resting on his arms. He had barely touched his breakfast.  
  
Well Prongs, maybe if you hadn't stayed out in the Common Room with that girlfriend of yours all night, you'd be a bit more cheerful yourself. Sirius said, sticking his tongue out at James, and then turning to wink at Remus.  
  
  
At the sight of the wink, Remus' stomach dropped, and he gulped and looked down at his oatmeal, giving it a slow stir with his spoon.  
  
  
Peter tapped Remus on the shoulder, and motioned to his bowl of half-eaten oatmeal.  
  
Oy mate, are you going to eat that?  
  
  
Remus frowned, and shoved the bowl toward Peter, before standing and walking out of the great hall.  
  
I'm off to class. Meet me there when you're all done eating. He said, and set off for Charms.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Charms had went well enough, as did the rest of the classes. Soon the students were free from their lessons for the rest of the day. The weather was nice for the middle of December. Many students had flooded outside to romp about, and jump in the huge piles of snow that the Groundskeeper had shoveled up not even an hour ago, off of the paths. Strangely though, the kindly old man didn't seem to mind. It seemed almost as though he had shoveled it up for that particular purpose.  
  
  
  
The Yule Ball would be in two weeks, and most students already had dates. Remus didn't even think he would go. He walked around outside, drowning out the shouts and laughter from his peers. He walked toward the Forbidden Forest, and his path curved to walk along the edge of the spooky woods.  
  
::Surely Sirius would have a date for the Yule Ball. In fact, knowing Sirius, he may have more than one.:: Remus thought to himself, giving a light snort. ::Why should I go and torture myself even more by seeing him enjoying the company of someone besides me?:: Something inside Remus was shouting to him, silent screams telling him to go to the Yule Ball. ::I refuse to walk into more pain. I have enough to last me a lifetime, maybe two.::  
  
Remus sighed heavily, and looked at the sky, to see dark, oppressive clouds moving in.  
  
  
A storm. Remus breathed, a ghost of a smile on his lips. Rain storm, in December? Oh well, weather around here _has_ been stranger.  
  
  
And then, the rain came.  
  
  
Remus followed slowly behind the dashing students, into the castle. He went into the Gryffindor Common Room, both pleased and disappointed when none of his friends were sitting there. He gave a moments thought to looking about for them, but then decided that this time with himself was doing him good. He was seeing his place, seeing what he could realistically have, and what would always be a dream, one step ahead of his grasping fingertips, reaching for that one last inch to get what they so desired.  
  
  
He watched the listless raindrops pelt the ground, and cause a beautiful ripple effect on the expanse of lake, which had thawed a nice bit, along with a lot of the snow, in the warmth of the day. He looked up and scanned the skies, hoping for thunder and lightning to make itself known.  
  
He was not disappointed.  
  
A loud clap of thunder sounded, followed by a most-impressive flash of lightning, which spider webbed across the sky, illuminating the now-dark grounds in a quick blink.  
  
  
  
As suddenly as the storm began, it stopped, and Remus turned to see Sirius standing nearby, also watching the storm. And watching _Remus_ watch the storm.  
  
  
He began.  
  
Sirius walked closer to Remus, and smiled gently.  
  
Lets go outside.  
  
But it's all cold and wet-  
  
It's okay.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Remus and Sirius walked out of the front doors, to be hit by a wave of sweet smelling earth, uncovered by the melting snow and hard-hitting rain, and clean air. The seductive after-rain smell wove its way around the two boys, heavy and warm.  
  
  
Remus stepped onto the path, and inhaled deeply, before turning to Sirius, his eyes shining.  
  
This smell, Padfoot. I love this smell, so fresh and new. I'd bottle it if I could. He said.  
  
  
Sirius was looking at him in such a way that is felt as if his soul were being examined. He suddenly felt very self-conscious, and looked away, quickly walking into the ankle-deep snow.  
  
  
Sirius chuckled. That was Moony, so seemingly-innocent, until you knew him.  
  
  
Remus turned, and looked at Sirius, curiosity on his face.  
  
Why did you want me to come out here, Sirius? He asked, shivering a little, and wrapping his arms more firmly around himself for added warmth.  
  
Well, I just knew that we haven't been spending much time together lately. And I wanted to see what's been bothering you. Moony, you've been pulling away. Not just from me, Peter and James noticed it too. Your withdrawing into your little Moony self, He smirked, And that's just no fun. What's wrong with you? Remember yesterday? Before Professor McGonagall yelled at us, under the tree?  
  
  
Did Remus _ever _ remember. He had nearly kissed Sirius. That was too close. He couldn't let something like that happen again.   
  
  
Remus nodded.  
  
You were so close to telling me, Moony. Now come on, there are no classes to be late for. Tell me, what's been bugging you?  
  
  
Remus took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly.  
  
::I can't tell him. Time to use your cunning nature, Remus!::  
  
  
Well, you see Padfoot... I guess I'm just a bit worried about this Yule Ball.  
  
Really? What about? Afraid you aren't going to get a date?  
  
Something like that. Remus said softly, not meeting Sirius' eyes, for fear that the whole truth would show, and his best friend would retreat, back into the school, and leave Remus alone forever.  
  
Don't worry mate, I'll help you find the perfect girl.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
That's it. I gave you guys a rather long one in comparison to the others, cause I felt inspired! Please, click that button *points* and review! Thanks for reading, see you next chappie!   
  



	5. Chapter Five

Note: I realize that the Yule Ball is only during the Triwizard Tournament, but I decided that Dumbledore is being a nice old man and letting the school have a bit of fun this winter. ^_^  
  
***  
  
  
Sleep was difficult to come by for Remus Lupin that evening. He had stayed up quite late helping Sirius and James with their homework, while Peter slept soundly in the dorms.  
  
Now Remus lay, staring at the top of his canopy bed, wishing that the sweet unconsciousness would reach him so he could escape his swirling, winding thoughts.  
  
  
::Help me find the perfect girl.:: He thought, a sardonic smirk on his lips. ::How about helping me find the perfect boy, Sirius?:: He sighed, and turned over, pulling his blankets up to his chin.   
  
::Need to sleep, Moony. Test tomorrow in Potions. Sirius will be counting on you to do good, since he'll be copying. James probably will be also.:: Remus smiled at that. He knew that it was morally wrong to let his two best friends copy off of him so much, but it was nice to feel needed.  
  
::Don't be stupid, Remus. They need you for more than just good marks. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.:: He berated, rubbing his face. ::You think too much, now sleep.::  
  
  
***  
  
  
Moony, get up, hurry!  
  
Remus jumped up and tore back the curtains, thinking that something must be wrong. Sirius had sounded so upset.  
  
He didn't expect what he saw.  
  
  
Sirius was standing in front of the window, looking out at the grounds. He wore just a pair of shorts, and the light flooding in from outside bounced off of his bare chest. Remus gulped.  
  
What is it, Padfoot? He asked, walking to stand next to Sirius.  
  
Was all he said.  
  
  
Outside, tons of students ran about in warm robes, playing Wizard's Snow War. Enchanted snow balls the size of most people's head were whizzing around the air, hitting students, who were knocked back with the force.  
  
I can't believe Prongs and Wormtail left without us! Come on, lets get out there before McGonagall hears about this and puts a stop to it! Sirius said, pulling on his robes. Remus continued to look out the window, lost in thought.  
  
  
  
  
Remus' head snapped up. Oh, sorry. Let's go.  
  
  
***  
  
  
James and Peter were already outside when Sirius and Remus arrived. They had built a great dug out in the snow, against the side of the castle. This way, they were protected on all four sides. Inside the walls was a huge pile of different sized snowballs, some glowing most interesting colors.  
  
Remus and Sirius dove inside before they could be struck, and grinned, rosy-faced, at their friends.  
  
What have we missed? Sirius asked, looking eager for a full report.  
  
Well, we hit Snivellus a few times with a hexed ball that made his hair become more greasy. After a while the balls just slid off, though. James reported, grinning from ear to ear. Peter laughed, and Sirius looked highly offended that he had missed such a show.  
  
Where is he now? He asked, craning his neck to try to see over the walls, looking for the subject of their conversation.  
  
Oh, he went inside soon after. He was pretty upset after slugger here nailed him with a ball that made his eyes bulge out. James said, smirking and patting Peter on the back.  
  
Remus and Sirius both laughed at that, and congratulated Peter, before bending to pick up a few balls of their own.  
  
  
Wingardium leviosa! Sirius exclaimed, pointing to a watermelon-shaped snowball, glee in his eyes. The ball began to float up, and Sirius directed it toward a Hufflepuff girl's fort a little ways away. It crashed through the front, leaving her open to a barrage of different sized balls from various other teams.  
  
Remus laughed, and levitated his own, slightly smaller ball to a Slytherin fort, and let it fall on Lucius Malfoy's head, laughing at the shock on the boy's face.  
  
Great shot, Moony! Sirius exclaimed, clapping him on the back. Remus shivered from the contact, and looked into Sirius' eyes. They met each other's gaze, and held each other's eyes for almost an entire minute, before James' excited voice made Sirius look away.  
  
  
::No...another chance gone.:: Came Remus' anguished thoughts.  
  
  
James exclaimed as he pointed to a Ravenclaw girl, who was quite difficult to miss. Someone's hexed snowball had caused her to float up into the sky. She was screaming and trying with questionable results to swim to the ground through the air. The spectators had mixed expressions, some people looking on in horror, others in shock. The Marauders, however, were laughing so hard that Sirius sunk to the ground with tears in his eyes, and Remus went into a coughing fit.  
  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Dinner that night in the Great Hall consisted of a long-winded lecture from Professor McGonagall about using hexed snowballs during Wizard Snow Wars, and a certain Headmaster with twinkling eyes and a wink toward the Marauders, telling students that putting an indestructible spell on your snow fort is sort of cheating.  
  
  
Remus and Sirius sat next to each other, per usual. James was next to Lily, their hands held on top of the table for all the world to see. Sirius poked fun at the couple throughout the meal, and Remus mostly kept to himself, eating his food slowly while reading over his Transfiguration essay for any errors.  
  
This is one assignment you're not copying, Padfoot. Remus said, sounding distracted, his amber eyes still trained on the stiff parchment before him.  
  
Sirius looked at him in mock-shock, mirth in his eyes. And why ever not, dearest Moony?  
  
Remus glanced up to shoot Sirius a withering look, before studying his paper again. When he spoke, his voice was low.  
  
Because you're an animagi. You should know _plenty _about Transfiguration by now, Sirius.  
  
Sirius feigned horror. But whatever shall I do? He cried out in a surprisingly good falsetto. You must _save _me Mister Lupin! Or I shall never get my paper finished!  
  
Remus laughed despite himself, and gave Sirius a light slap on the arm. Fine fine, just stop screeching like that, will you? You're going to make the whole table go deaf.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Back in the Common Room for the night, the Marauders were seated in overstuffed red armchairs and sofa's. Sirius had taken a whole sofa for himself, and was stretched out across it, his legs crossed at the ankle. He had his head propped up on his arm, and he was...reading?  
  
  
Remus was curled up on a small chair, in animated conversation with Peter about the days Care of Magical Creatures class. I'm telling you, Wormtail, a unicorn would never let you on it's back, no matter how much trouble you were in!  
  
Oh, but come off it Moony! If I was being chased by a pack of extremely brassed off centaurs or something and the unicorn was there, and I ran to it and said help me!' you don't think it'd let me ride on it's back out of the forest?  
  
No, I don't. They're too majestic and proud. They consider themselves to be far above humans. They'd never do it. He said, giving Peter a look that clearly said his word was final.  
  
If _I _were a unicorn and someone ran up to me, I'd help them. Peter stated indignantly. Remus snickered.   
  
I don't want to picture you as a unicorn, mate. Don't put such images in my head, or I'll never drop off to sleep tonight.  
  
Peter glared at Remus, and stood up. Speaking of sleep, I'm heading up. You three coming? He asked, giving a small yawn.  
  
James looked up from the note from Lily that he'd been reading to nod. In a minute, Wormtail. He stated, looking down at the parchment again.  
  
Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then at Peter.  
  
Yeah, we're coming. Let's go, Moony.  
  
Remus stood and followed Sirius.  
  
Okay, Padfoot. I'm right behind you.  
  
::I'll always be behind you, Sirius. Always.::  
  
  
***  
  
  
More soon, everyone! And thank you all SOOO much for reviewing! It was a very pleasant surprise to wake up this morning to an inbox filled with reviews! Please keep it up! My usually small, carefully swept up pile of self-confidence was greatly added to today! *happy dances*


	6. Chapter Six

Note: In this chapter I kinda assume that Remus and Sirius play on the Gryffindor Quidditch team alone with James. Sirius is a beater, and Remus is a chaser. Just thought I'd clear that up for you all. ^-^;;  
  
  
  
Remus was awakened the next morning to Sirius leaning over him, giving him a good shake.  
  
Moony, get up, time to find you a date!  
  
  
::What?!::  
  
Ungghh.. too early, Sirius... Remus mumbled, pulling the pillow over his face disgustedly.  
  
Sirius just laughed. He sounded _way _too chipper.   
  
Come on, Remus! We're going down to the great hall to find you a date. Let's go.  
  
  
Sirius dashed over to his bed to finish getting dressed, leaving Remus to his own devises.   
  
::Great. I didn't think he was actually serious about that...:: Remus thought to himself, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  
  
He groggily pulled on his robes, and tucked his wand inside of them, before turning to Sirius.  
  
Okay, Padfoot. Let's go.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Once inside the Great Hall, Sirius immediately began pointing to different girls.  
  
She's cute... she's in Ravenclaw, but that''s not a problem... He said, pointing to a tall girl with flowing black hair walking by.  
  
Remus shrugged. I guess. He said, rubbing his arm a bit.  
  
Sirius cast a quick look to Remus, before looking around a bit more.  
  
Well, how about her...? Wait, no. She's a Slytherin. Can't have you taking a Slytherin to the Yule Ball, that just wouldn't look good at all. He joked, nudging Remus.  
  
Yeah, not good. Remus said, obviously not paying much attention.  
  
How about her? He asked, pointing to Professor McGonagall with a smirk.  
  
She's okay... Remus said, staring into space.  
  
Sirius cracked up, and slapped Remus on the arm. McGonagall's okay?!  
  
Remus asked, jumping in surprise, before looking around in a bit of a disoriented fashion.  
  
Sirius just glared at Remus. You aren't even paying attention. He accused, feigning a hurt look. Remus sighed.   
  
Sorry mate.. guess I can't concentrate. It _is _really early, you know. He said with a wry grin.  
  
Yes well, just try to focus. We don't have a lot of time to get you a date before the ball.  
  
Oh, and just who are _you _taking? Remus asked, dreading the answer.  
  
::Why did I ask that? I don't want to know!::  
  
Sirius frowned. We're not talking about me now, Moony, we're talking about you and your lack of a date. Now get looking. He said, before giving a light laugh.  
  
  
  
Much of the morning went like this, and finally Sirius gave up for a while. They went to their classes and Remus only had to endure Sirius' frantic pointing once and a while, mainly in the halls. The strange thing that Remus noticed was that after Sirius had pointed to a girl for Remus' appraisal, he'd give Remus this look. It was always a very curious look, one that was obviously trying to judge something more than his opinion of the girl in question. Try as he might though, Remus couldn't place was Sirius was trying to find out.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Quidditch practice that evening went well. The team divided up and played against each other, and Remus made a few scores, much to the joy of everyone else. James had caught the snitch in record time for practices, and everyone was feeling pretty confident about the upcoming match against Ravenclaw.   
  
We'll destroy them! Sirius exclaimed during a quick break, as he took a gulp from his water bottle.   
  
Remus found his eyes focused on Sirius' neck as the muscles swallowed. He gave his head a quick shake and looked instead to James, who was playing around with the snitch, Lily standing next to him. They were talking, but Remus couldn't tell what about. He sighed, and turned to Sirius, noticing that his best friend immediately looked away.  
  
::He was looking at me...:: Remus realized, and for some reason this made him quite pleased.  
  
There's no chance that we'll lose. Remus said, giving Sirius a grin. We've just got more raw skill than Ravenclaw. He stated, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
Sirius nodded vigorously. Exactly! They barely ever practice! Twice a week? Pah, we practice almost every day! He exclaimed, licking his lips excitedly. The only team we have to be worried about is Slytherin. They practice just as much as we do, if not more.  
  
Remus sighed at that. Slytherin had won the quidditch cup three years in a row, and he **really **didn't want to see that happen again this year.  
  
  
Yes well, I have a feeling things are going to change this year. He said, smirking at Sirius.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Okay, that's that for now. I can't believe how many reviews this story has so far!   
*is still in shock* Thank you all so very very much! Oh, I figured I should mention that I have a Harry Potter Past Slash RPG now, so if you're interested drop me an email and I'll give you more information or the URL or whatever. ^^;;  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter Seven

It was early afternoon, and the Marauders were all relaxing outside, enjoying a gleeful day off from studies and classes.  
  
  
James sat nearest the lake, watching the shimmering surface and absentmindedly releasing and catching the golden snitch he had nicked.  
  
Peter sat against a large oak tree, munching on an apple and trying his hardest to study for an upcoming Potions exam with Remus, who was also finding quite a bit of difficulty concentrating.  
  
Sirius was sprawled across the thick, sweet-smelling grass, one arm behind his head, his raven locks falling around him messily. In his right hand he held his wand, which was pointed at the oak tree. With each quick command, another rain of acorns fell from the tree and landed upon Peter and Remus.  
  
Remus glared at Sirius, who was laughing heartily after a rather large flood of acorns had just plopped onto his head.  
  
You know, Padfoot, some of us like to prepare for testing! Peter exclaimed, irritated that his concentration had been broken again.  
  
Yes, why don't you go bother Prongs or something. Remus muttered, his eyes still trained on the book, as he tried with questionable results to memorize a few terms and definitions.  
  
Sirius pouted. You two always ruin all my fun. He said, sighing.   
  
  
James turned, and gave Sirius a hard look.  
  
  
Make anything fall on me, mate, and you'll have boils on your arse for a month. He said, smirking. He then turned and continued looking out across the lake. The snitch made a valiant effort to escape while he was distracted by teasing Sirius, but to no avail. James simply lunged a bit, and caught the little ball tightly in his hand.  
  
  
  
  
Remus sighed, looking wistfully at Sirius. The Yule Ball was in one week. Just one week. Sirius had promised that he'd find Remus a date before then. He had told his best friend warmly that Remus was bound to have quite a few girls clamoring over him, if he'd just show a bit more confidence around them. Remus didn't _want _them clamoring over him though.   
  
::There's only one person on the Earth I want clamoring over me, and he's the one person I'll never have.:: Remus thought to himself, yet again becoming distracted from his studies. Giving his head a light shake, Remus chanced another glance at Sirius, before looking back to the heavy book in his lap.  
  
  
Moony, how about we go try to find a date for you some more? We don't have much time. Sirius said, leaning closer to Remus.  
  
He held his breath. I'm studying right now, Sirius.  
  
I realize that, mate. But, isn't this Yule Ball a little more important?  
  
Remus laughed, and closed his book. Well, I'm not sure about that, but I could use a bit of a break... can't seem to concentrate. He admitted, looking sheepish. Sirius just laughed, and put a hand on Remus' back.  
  
That, my friend, would be your subconscious telling you to _take a bloody break once and a while!!' _  
  
Remus mock-glared, and walked with Sirius back to the castle, casting a quick wave to Peter and James over his shoulder.  
  
  
The faint strands of: Moony's gonna get a giiiiirl friiiend!', sang in James' mock-falsetto rose over the grounds, and Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
::Not if I can help it.::   
  
  
***  
  
  
The common room was crowded, seeing as it was still early in the evening, right after supper. Remus and Peter were trying again to study, and James was off somewhere with Lily. Frankly, Remus didn't care to know what they were doing at the moment.   
And Sirius, well, he had disappeared right after they had finished eating. All he had said was I have a mission'. He then smirked, gave Remus a friendly slap on the back, and jogged out of the Great Hall. The rest of the Marauders hadn't seen him for almost two hours now.  
  
Remus wasn't worried. He was sure that Sirius was just chatting up a few girls. And even if he was in trouble, he knew full well that Sirius could take care of himself. He had shown that many times since the two had met, and Remus had full faith in him.  
  
  
  
Remus was just quizzing Peter on some of the Potions, when Sirius came into the common room, panting for breath, with a huge grin on his face.  
  
Moony! Come here, quick!! He exclaimed, running over to Remus and grabbing his arm to pull him out of the common room.  
  
Woah! What is it, Padfoot?!  
  
Sirius laughed, and said softly. I've found you a date. Then he dashed out of the portal hole, leaving Remus to follow.  
  
Remus was shocked. ::No...::  
  
  
He made his way out of the portal hole, to see Sirius standing a few feet away with a Ravenclaw girl. She was quite pretty, with long red hair that reached down the middle of her back, and shining green eyes. She was pale, and thin, and Remus knew that she was quite well-desired by many male students. And some female ones, too. Remus wondered to himself what Sirius had had to offer the girl to get her to agree to go to the dance with him.  
  
Erm... hi... Remus began, obviously at a bit of a loss for words. The girl turned, and smiled brightly, her full red lips lifting upwards. She walked quickly to Remus, and put out her hand.  
  
You don't know me, I'm sure, but I'm Willow Aiden, Ravenclaw.  
  
Remus smiled politely, and shook her hand. I'm Remus Lupin, Gryffindor. He said, giving her hand a quick shake and letting go.  
  
Willow beamed. Oh, I know exactly who you are.  
  
Remus blushed just a little and nodded, before glancing to Sirius.  
  
Sirius seemed... pleased with himself, but there was something else in his eyes, too. Remus couldn't quite place what it was, but it looked almost like jealousy.  
  
  
  
Sirius said you'd go to the Yule Ball with me.. She began, looking at the ground shyly, then glanced at Sirius. Something passed between them, and then she looked up at Remus hopefully.  
  
Remus swallowed hard, and looked at Sirius.  
  
Well mate, you are looking for a date, and she's available. Sirius said, looking at a nearby bare stone wall as if the most intricate, interesting painting hung upon it.  
  
Remus sighed. Yes, I'll go to the Yule Ball with you. He said, feeling as though he had just sealed a most horrific fate.   
  
Willow grinned. Great! I can't wait!   
  
  
::I can.:: Remus thought to himself.  
  
  
\\I can most certainly wait.\\ Sirius thought, with a frown. He and Remus' eyes locked together, both with a gloomy, dark look. They put on their best fake smile for each other, and turned away.  
  
  
***  
  
  
That's all for now.. sorry about the wait, but I've been working on my marching band stuff every day at marching camp, and then I've been working all week... Sigh. Anyway, please review, and I'll see you all next chapter!!  
  



	8. Chapter Eight

The late afternoon sun was struggling in vain to stream through the dark clouds which were leaking cold, white flakes of snow onto the grounds below the window that Remus Lupin looked longingly out of.  
  
Today he and Sirius were going to go for a walk beside the lake, just the two of them. But now...   
  
With the snow falling so heavily, Remus was sure Sirius wouldn't want to go out. He sighed, and found himself wondering for the hundredth time that day if Sirius had gotten himself a date yet. He knew that the chance Sirius would be going stag was slim to none, all the girls in the school wanted him.  
  
::And at least one guy, too.:: Remus thought wryly, as he watched the layer of snow building on t he frozen surface of the lake.  
  
  
Moony, you up for our walk?  
  
Remus turned around, surprise etched on his face. But, it's snowing. He said, gesturing out the window as a rather oppressive gust of wind blew into the window, giving it a great rattle.  
  
Sirius smiled. So? It'll be fun!  
  
Remus didn't exactly look convinced, but he sighed, and grabbed his cloak.  
  
All right... I guess if you want to...   
  
Sirius grinned, and ran forward to grab his own cloak, letting his hand rest on Remus' shoulder for a moment on the way. Remus felt electricity run through him at the touch, and closed his eyes.  
  
::Relax...::  
  
  
***  
  
  
Once outside, the falling snowflakes were quick to rest in Sirius' raven hair, and Remus thought it to be the most beautiful thing on earth. He resisted the urge to run his hands through the sweet smelling, warm hair, and instead packed a snowball and threw it playfully at Sirius' turned back.   
  
The young man jumped, and turned, giving Remus a mock-glare and crafting his own ball, which he threw at Remus with such velocity that it knocked him back a few steps.  
  
Remus gasped, as he was almost knocked onto his butt. He laughed once he regained his breath, and made yet another snowball, not knowing why they were doing this like Muggles, but enjoying it all the same.  
  
He threw the ball, only to have it be dodged by Sirius with ease. The ebony-haired man gave a whoop, and took off running for the nearest tree, which he quickly hid behind.  
  
  
Remus smiled, and rubbed his now-numb hands together a bit, trying to warm them up. Finally he picked up two handfuls of snow, and ran to the tree, rubbing both hands into Sirius' face.  
  
Sirius gasped, which was a mistake, as a generous amount of snow went into his mouth. Remus was laughing quite hysterically by the time Sirius had cleared the snow from him, and he growled playfully and leapt onto his friend, knocking them both to the snow covered earth, where they sunk in just a bit.  
  
Sirius, being Remus' best friend, knew all of the boys ticklish places, and he attacked without mercy, until Remus' face was red, and he was gasping for breath in-between giggles and laughter. When Sirius finally stopped his hands, they looked into each other's eyes. Tears of mirth in Remus', and a sparkle to Sirius', they both moved in closer and closer...  
  
  
And then they kissed. It was gentle, exploring, everything a first kiss between longtime friends should be. When they broke apart, Remus wasn't the only one with a flushed face, and Sirius quickly looked away, too afraid to look into Remus' eyes.  
  
Remus whispered, reaching out his hand as if to touch him, but then quickly withdrawing.  
  
Sirius got up without a word, and began to walk back to the school. Remus lay there for a minute, trying to process what had gone wrong, before jumping up and running to Sirius side, shaking snow out of his hair on the way.  
  
He repeated, this time putting his hand on the boy's arm, effectively stopping him.  
  
Where are you going?  
  
Sirius sighed, and looked at the ground. Away. From you.  
  
Remus winced, but continued on. Why? Didn't that mean anything to you? He demanded, now shocked and a little bit hurt.  
  
Sirius bit his lip. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that the kiss had been the only think he'd been dreaming about for the last two years. He wanted to grab Remus into his arms and kiss him, and never let him go.   
  
But instead...  
  
I have to go. And then he broke free of Remus' grasp, and dashed back into the weathered old building, leaving Remus standing in shock, the delicate white flakes falling onto him. But he didn't feel the cold. He didn't f eel the sharp bite of the December wind as it pushed into him. All he felt was sharp pain in his chest, and he knew his heart had just broke.  
  
  
Defeated, he turned, and walked back to the indentation a few feet away.  
  
  
It was shaped perfectly like them.  
  
Like love.  
  
  
***  
  
  
That's all for now.. nice turn of events, huh? *ducks angry fans* Don't worry..they'll figure something out! PLEASE remember to review, and I'll see you all next time!


	9. Chapter Nine

The next few days went by in a flash. Classes were coming to a close for the winter holiday. Soon the last day of term would come, and with that, the Yule Ball.  
  
Remus was going home for Christmas, as were his friends. He was nervous about leaving. Nervous about the Yule Ball.. hell, he was nervous to look his best friend in the eyes.  
  
  
Had been nervous.   
  
  
Ever since that day, in the snow.  
  
::Such beautiful snow...:: Remus thought to himself as he stared out the window in the Common Room. Snow was falling again this evening, and Remus wished he could go back to that day. Go back to right before they kissed, and stop it.  
  
::Anything would be better than this. Having his hand just in friendship is worth more than this strained silence between us. Like a great, insurmountable wall.::  
  
  
Remus sighed sadly, and jumped when he felt hands on his shoulders.  
  
  
Moony, you okay? James asked softly, looking into the tear-filled amber eyes with concern.  
  
Remus nodded, and James sat down next to his friend on the red sofa, his hand still on Remus' shoulder comfortingly.  
  
I'm glad you told me what happened Remus. He said softly. You have to wait, though. It's up to him now.  
  
  
Remus looked up at James, frowning. What do you mean? It's over. He rejected me! Remus exclaimed, clenching his hands into fists.  
  
Moony, you know Sirius' pride! Let him calm down. He wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't feel the same. James reasoned.  
  
Maybe it was me who kissed him. Maybe it was all me! Remus cried out, lowering his head even farther as the tears fell more rapidly. James sighed, and pulled his friend into his arms, rocking him back and forth as he cried.  
  
Shh... Moony, it will all work out.. you'll see. Everything will be okay in the end. He cooed, rubbing Remus' back soothingly.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Remus woke up early in the morning with a feeling of rising dread.   
  
  
Today. Tonight.  
  
  
The Yule Ball.  
  
  
He would have to face Sirius. Face James, Peter.   
  
  
Face his date.   
  
Face them all knowing that his heart was broken. Knowing that it had been twisted and pulled and torn until it was ripped into a hundred little shattered bits.  
  
  
He didn't know what to do. But he couldn't back down. He couldn't hide.  
  
  
  
  
He was going to the Ball.  
  
  
  
  
Slowly he stood, and dressed himself, before making his way to the Common Room to warm himself before the great fire.  
  
He was surprised to see Sirius already there, and he quickly turned and went back to the Dorm, sighing.   
  
He sat down on the edge of his bed, and pulled out his dress robes, looking them over for the hundredth time that week.  
  
  
They were a soft purple hue, made of velvet. Gentle swirls of shiny color were mixed in the fabric, making the wearer appear to be sparkling. Remus knew that in the soft lights of the Great Hall that night, he'd look fabulous.  
  
But he didn't care.  
  
Not unless Sirius noticed.   
  
  
::You're being silly.:: He chastised himself. ::Sirius will be there with a date. A _girl _date. As will you.::   
  
  
He reluctantly put the dress robes away, and walked to the Common Room, to see Sirius gone.  
  
Both relief and disappointment welled up inside of him at the observation, and with a heavy heart and mind, he walked out of the common room, and to the Great Hall.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Upon reaching the Great Hall, Remus discovered two things.  
  
  
One, not many people got up this early, including some professors.  
  
And two, Sirius had not come here.  
  
  
Remus looked out the great windows toward the front of the hall to see that it was raining.  
  
::Twice in the last few weeks!:: He thought to himself. ::That's so odd! Raining in winter.. must be warm out today.::   
  
He walked to the Gryffindor table, relieved that since Sirius wasn't here he wouldn't have to go about the chore of finding somewhere else to sit.  
  
He sat down and began to eat, not really tasting the food. Instead, with every bite he tasted Sirius' kiss. Tasted the warm lips against his own. Tasted the soft breath of the one he loved. Desired.  
  
  
  
As more students (and professors) began to arrive, Remus was already finished eating, and he hurried to his first class, so as not to be forced to face his friends. Or Sirius.  
  
  
He was quite early for Transfiguration, but it didn't matter. After he had sat down, the only thing he thought of was that night. The Yule Ball.   
  
  
::Poor Willow.:: He thought to himself. ::What have I gotten myself into this time? I shouldn't have even agreed to go. We'd all be better off for it.::  
  
  
Sirius walked into the class room, and saw Remus almost immediately. Their eyes met before Sirius could avoid it, and he found himself lost in the amber color that seemed to go on forever.  
  
Remus felt himself slipping into the rich color or Sirius' eyes. Slipping further and further.  
  
::This is how my life should be.:: He thought. ::Constantly lost in this man. Lost in his eyes. In his lips, in his warmth that surrounds me as he holds me in his arms.::  
  
As if reading Remus' thoughts, Sirius quickly looked away, and took a seat on the opposite end of the room.  
  
::Yet again... maybe not.::  
  
  
***  
  
That's it for a day or so... sorry to end it there, but I want the next chapter to be basically just the Yule Ball. What will happen? ...Well, you'll just have to wait to find out. ^_^;;  
  
Until the next chapter, everyone. Cheers!


	10. Chapter Ten

An hour until the Yule Ball began.  
  
  
Just one hour.  
  
  
  
  
Remus was in the boys dormitory, pulling on his dress robes. He absentmindedly fingered the soft material, and he sighed.  
  
Quickly he went to the mirror, and looked at his hair, pulling out the ponytail and fixing it up. It was the third time he had done such a thing in the last hour.  
  
Remus didn't know why he was nervous. It wasn't like this meant anything. He was going with this Willow girl, but only so he'd be able to go in the first place.  
  
::I guess I'm using her...:: He thought to himself, as a wave of guilt washed over him.  
  
Sighing, Remus tucked his wand into his dress robes, and walked into the common room, resolving to sit with James and Peter until they left for the Great Hall later.   
  
James had said that Sirius left, and told him that he'd meet them at the Ball. Remus hadn't been surprised when James had passed the message on to Peter and himself earlier that afternoon.  
  
::Probably wants some extra time with his date.:: He thought, not able to keep the bitterness out of his thoughts.  
  
  
Moony, there you are! James called, waving his friend over to where he and Peter were sitting on top of one of the tables in the common room, despite the fact that this was against the rules.  
  
Thought for a minute there that Peter and I would have to send a rescue team after you!  
  
Remus' face flushed a bit, and he took a seat next to James.  
  
I suppose though, he began in a low voice, so as not to let Peter hear, that one should never let a gay man prepare for a party alone. He smirked. I'm surprised you didn't come out of that dormitory full of glitter and makeup... He chuckled, and Remus grinned, knowing that it was a friendly joke. He mock-slapped James' arm, and stood up, looking around a bit.  
  
Don't bother looking, mate. Peter said, looking a bit withdrawn. Padfoot's not here.  
  
Remus nodded, and sighed a bit, before looking at Peter with a grin. Say, where's _your _date, Wormtail? He asked, advancing on his friend, an eyebrow raised.  
  
Peter's face flushed, and he stammered a bit, so James spoke for him.  
  
She's in Hufflepuff. That Althea Snelling girl. James supplied, clapping Peter on the back.  
  
Peter nodded, and found his voice. She just bloody walked right up to me today and asked if I'd go with her. He said, his chest puffing out in pride.  
  
Remus decided to neglect telling his elated friend that she had probably asked him out of desperation, and knew that he didn't have date. Peter wasn't exactly known for being a real bomb with the ladies.  
  
::Not like Sirius.:: Remus thought before he could stop himself. ::Will you stop that?! Stop thinking about him, stupid.:: He frowned, shaking his head a bit slowly.  
  
  
James said, tentatively putting a hand on his friend's arm.  
  
Remus gave his head a shake, and met James' eyes.   
  
I'm okay. He said, forcing a smile.   
  
A look of understanding came into James' eyes, and he smiling reassuringly at his fellow marauder.  
  
Everything'll work out, Remus. I just know it. He said, before turning to the girls dormitory door, to see Lily walk out, wearing stunning dress robes.  
  
James gaped, and Remus laughed at his friend's condition, as James slowly walked forward and took Lily into her arms, whispering softly you look beautiful before kissing her gently.  
  
Peter laughed, and Remus turned away, feeling a pang of jealousy. He wanted that. He wanted that with Sirius. That love, and that openness with them. That look like they were a million miles away, in their own world. Just the two of them.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The Yule Ball was starting. Remus walked nervously to the Ravenclaw Common Room, and stood outside to wait for Willow to meet him there.  
  
He didn't have to wait long.  
  
Willow walked out of the common room in some very beautiful dress robes, they were long and flowing, and Remus knew if he wasn't one hundred percent guy loving queer he'd be stunned by her beauty. Heck, half the students around her already were. Including some female ones, which Remus had to smile at.  
  
  
She quickly saw Remus, and walked to him, smiling and giving a small wink.  
  
  
  
Remus nodded, and together they walked toward the Great Hall.  
  
Just him... and his date.  
  
  
***


	11. Chapter Eleven

The lighting in the Great Hall gave everyone in the giant room the appearance of an ethereal glow, and the stars that peppered the charmed celling seemed unusually bright as Remus walked in, Willow on his arm.  
  
The tables were all gone now, save a few that were sitting against the far wall, a multitude of delicious looking foods and treats sitting on them.  
  
The area was full of students, all standing around in their best, waiting for Dumbledore to make the final announcements so that the ball could finally begin.   
  
Nervous amber eyes scanned the crowds of people, trying to find the object of his desires. He was almost afraid to see Sirius. He didn't know if he wanted to see the girl that would be with him, see the longing looks akin to his own, of other girls wishing they were the lucky one to be Sirius Black's date.  
  
Willow gave Remus an almost knowing look, and tugged a bit on his arm with a smile.  
  
Come on, lets get inside a bit more. Dumbledore should be starting the ball any minute now. She said, smirking and leading him quite knowingly to just a few paces from where Sirius stood.  
  
It only took Remus a moment to notice his best friend standing so near, a tall, slender girl close to his side.   
She was quite beautiful, Remus observed with a sinking feeling. Quite tall for a girl, and very shapely, with light, almost white colored long wispy hair, and Remus could just see her dark blue eyes, and high, prominent cheek bones. Remus knew she was a Ravenclaw girl, and also knew her name was Eve, but that's as far as his knowledge of the beauty went.  
  
::I can never compare to that.:: He realized, giving a withdrawn sigh.   
  
Remus glanced to Willow, and was startled to see her looking quite intensely over at Sirius and his date not unlike the way Remus had just a moment before.  
  
  
Students of Hogwarts! Professor Dumbledore's booming voice interrupted Remus' musings, and everyone quieted and looked to their Headmaster.  
  
It is time for relaxation, and good times. The winter season is now upon us, and just tomorrow, most of you will be leaving to spend your holidays with your family. His eyes twinkled as he looked at the sea of eager faces before him.  
  
I am glad that the rest of the staff agreed with me in my thoughts that you students deserved a break this year. With the constant worry over You Know Who's uprising, this is a good way to relax. So please, leave your concerns at the door, and enjoy this rare gift of a ball. He motioned to Professor McGonagall, who quickly started up the music, and all the students let out a resounding whoop of joy before they all began to speak, and move off of the dance floor, just a few brave couples staying to start the dancing up.  
  
  
James and Lily were standing by the tables of food, and Lily was a little impatient with James.  
  
Look, this is a ball. Usually dancing occurs, James. She said, sounding a little irritated. James looked a bit nervous, and took her hand.   
  
Oh, all right. He mumbled, leading her out to the floor. Peter was laughing at James' misfortune, until his date grabbed him and pulled a very unwilling animagi marauder to the dance floor also.  
  
Through all of this, Sirius and his date were standing off to the side, obviously deep in a rather serious conversation. Remus noticed that Willow seemed to be more interested in what they were talking about than he was, and he bit his lip a little, nervous about what would be expected of him this evening.  
  
Sirius turned his head, and scanned the crowd. His eyes met Remus', and the boy let out a small gasp. Sirius looked fantastic. His shoulder length hair had been left down today, and it looked, in short, amazing. Gone was the straggly unkempt look, which had been exchanged for an almost elegant appearance.   
  
His hair was shining, glitter was visible above his eyes, and Remus detected a trace of make up. He licked his lips at the sight of the tight dress robes that clung to his frame.  
  
::They make a good match.:: He observed with a heavy heart. Willow pulled him out of his thoughts with a gentle push to the dance floor.  
  
Come on Remus, lets do some dancing. She said softly. If Remus didn't know better, he'd say Willow was trying to distract herself from someone too.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
Much of the evening went on like this. Remus and Sirius meeting eyes across the room every once and a while. Something seemed to pass between them every time, and Remus didn't know when it happened, but he glanced to the clock to see that several hours had passed. The dance would be done in just shy of an hour now, and he felt relieved and saddened at once.  
  
He was just preparing to go off by himself with the pretense of getting a drink for himself and Willow, when she took his arm.  
  
Was all she said, just above a whisper. He could detect a sense of relief in her body language now, as if something she had been waiting for was finally coming to pass.  
  
::Oh great...what does she have planned for me now?:: He wondered, fearing that she'd jump him or something equally as horrific. As much as he appreciated Willow's company and really liked her personality, the thought of anything more was... well, it just didn't seem right. And with good reason. Remus knew he was queer as a two dollar bill.  
  
  
He reluctantly followed Willow, and they ended up in the middle of the dance floor. Willow stood to face Remus, and reached out slowly and gently, putting her hands over his eyes, and she gently closed them.  
  
Keep them closed. She whispered, and Remus gave a faint nod.  
  
Quickly she turned around and spotted what she was looking for. With a wave of her arm, they walked forward and took their positions.   
  
Willow fell into willing arms and gladly received a kiss, before looking to the other person, a serious look in her eyes.  
  
You owe me big time. She whispered to him jokingly, giving him a slap on the back, before she took the hand offered to her, and walked away with Eve, her fair-haired girlfriend, leaving Sirius Black to deal with the object of his own affections.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Oh I feel so evil right now. Just wait a bit everyone, what will Sirius do now? Such an evil boy, plotting like he was. lmao, thanks so much for the reviews everyone, they really make me want to write more sooner, so if you want the next chapter really fast, review even faster!! *huggles all readers* Until the next chappie, byes!


	12. Chapter Twelve

Sirius Black was nervous.  
  
Okay, that's an understatement.  
  
Sirius Black had never been this afraid in his entire life.  
  
  
Here he stood, before the one person who mattered most in his world, and he was about to do something that he may live to regret.  
  
Or it may shape the rest of his life.  
  
  
  
Sirius took a deep breath, and stepped forward a few paces, until he and Remus were very close. Remus' eyes were still closed, and Sirius took this moment to look over his friend's attractive body up-close without fear of rejection.  
  
Finally, he knew he could keep his love waiting no longer, and he whispered softly.  
  
Open your eyes.  
  
  
And Remus did just that. And then he gasped.  
  
Sirius was quite close to him. They're faces were scant inches apart, and Remus was rather confused. He stumbled back a few steps, and looked at his best friend with confusion.  
  
What... why..? He stood confused for a minute or so, trying his best to ignore the smug smirk on Sirius' lips.  
  
Where's your date? He finally managed to ask, giving his head a light shake.  
  
Eve? Oh, she and Willow went off to snog in the bushes, no doubt. He said, before advancing on Remus, as a wild cat would advance on its pray.  
  
Remus gulped. Snog? With Willow? Why would- Remus' eyes widened. He said quickly, a shocked look on his face. But why would you have brought her as your date..and...-  
  
Sirius cut Remus off quite effectively by leaping at the amber-eyed boy, and covering his lips with his own.  
  
Remus' eyes widened, then closed, as he wrapped his arms around the one he loved, and he smiled inwardly when he felt Sirius do the same.  
  
Finally, the need for air became to demanding, and the kiss broke. Both were aware of many eyes on them, but they did nothing.  
  
Their faces were still so close together that they could taste eachother's breath, and Remus found himself becoming lost in the depth of Sirius' eyes.  
  
You.. you tricked me, didn't you? Remus accused, looking surprised, and impressed at the same time.  
  
Sirius shot Remus a charismatic smile, and nodded vigorously.  
  
I had to... I was too afraid after what happened outside.. He began, finally breaking eye contact to look at the ground nervously. And then, after I thought about it, I realized I shouldn't have ran away.. and I wanted to do something kind of special for you. He sighed, and chanced a glance up at Remus' amber orbs to see love reflected in them, through the mist of unshed tears.   
  
I thought maybe surprising you like this would begin to make it up to you...?  
  
Remus grinned, and launched himself into Sirius' arms, kissing him hard, trying to show every bit of love and passion he felt for Sirius in that one connection, that one meeting of lips and tongues, hearts and souls.  
  
When finally they broke apart, Remus leaned his forehead against Sirius', and whispered softly, a seductive lilt to his voice.  
  
How else will you be making this up?  
  
  
***  
  
  
*bows* That's it everyone, rides over. I like ending stories in a way that the reader has to think, and if you're anything like me, you'll be thinking about the possibilities for this story for quite a while. :D Hope you all liked.. until next time everyone!!


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